''Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring'' Marilyn Monroe

Friday 8 April 2011

little by little we heal...

Today was such a beautiful day- the first proper day that felt like summer. I walked into uni today and everyone was in summer clothes and sunbathing on the grass- it was beautiful. 
I spent the day sitting on grass and walking around shops browsing and enjoying the sun. Tonight was then spent packing for easter. I am going back to my parents house for 3 weeks easter break, although it shall be full of essay and dissertation writing. It will be a break from the madness and busyness that is the life of a third year. 

Today as I walked around, actually over the last week, I have been thinking about the last 3 years and the journey that I have been on since I moved to uni. I was having a conversation recently with some of my best girl friends about who we were at school and I began to realise just how different I was back then. 
The past 3 years have been the best and worst of my life- I have been through so many things that have shaped who I am. The biggest of them all was a relationship which at the time was everything to me. It was my world, and I thought that it would be for the rest of my life. When it ended I thought that my world had collapsed around me and that I would never truly recover. 
I don't think that I knew how strong I was or how much I was being held back by the relationship or the things that had happened during that time. 
I know that the person I am wouldn't exist without that relationship and I know that the relationship taught me a lot and gave me a lot of life lessons. 

I am about to start a brand new chapter of my life, meeting new people and discovering what it means to be out of education and into the big wide world. It is exciting and full of possibilities.
I am itching to get out there and see what the world has to offer, what God has in plan for my little life. 

Life is exciting, especially when you look back and see where you have come from and what has changed. 
I won't lie and say that I am completely recovered from the hard times, and I won't say that it doesn't still hurt sometimes but I do know that for the most I can see the good in it all and that, actually, there is hope and joy in everything. 
God's goodness shines through and keeps shining through whether we notice it at the time or not. 

"if i lay here, if i just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world"

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