he is jealous for me... before I look to my day i look to the hand that first held mine...

I just finished my degree- every essay, exam, lecture and note is written. All I am doing is waiting for the results. It is the strangest feeling. 

Yesterday it truly hit me that this is the start of life. Real adult, in the world life. No student bubble, no 4 hours of lectures a week (yep it's true) and to be honest I became terrified. 

It is scary to know that this is university over, education over. 

But today, after the initial realisation terror I began to look back on the beauty that these past few years have been. 

I look back at the small, scared and very young girl who arrived in this city and I see a great transformation. God has taught me so much. 

I was a big mess when I arrived 3 years ago. I wasn't sure what I was doing or where to turn and I held on too tightly to my then boyfriend. I was so lost and so unaware of what God had planned. 

God has shown me amazing people- my church, my cluster, my cell, my friends- who have surrounded me and taught me life and what it is and how to navigate through it. 

Starting at the beginning with the church that embraced me on that first Sunday. A place full of people who made me feel like I was at home even when all I wanted was to run back south. A place which God has filled with His Spirit and people who shine so incredibly brightly. 

This church was the setting if you like, for God's transformation in me.

I arrived confused about who I was, very easily convinced and persuaded by others. But I was raised up, listened to, prayed with, understood and pushed to be my best. The people who I have encountered are people who let me be me and showed me that it was okay. 

I look at myself now and see even in the small things like what I wear and the colour of my finger nails- that God has shown me who I am. That He is moulding me into the woman He desires me to be. 

This last year at University has been the most incredible, I have met even more wonderful people and have been continuously changed by God's beautiful Spirit. Part of that year included leading an incredible group of students in my cluster (small group type thing)

I cannot believe how amazing these students are. Each and everyone of them has enriched my life and has brought such an incredible spirit and passion to my life. They are a group of people who I stand back and look at and I think they can change this world, they can be great and powerful people who bring goodness to everyone. 

They are a group of people who I have had the immense privilege of knowing and they are the most welcoming beautiful brothers and sisters that I know. 

These people have helped to transform my life and show me the beauty of passion and love of the Father. 

I am so glad that I am not leaving next year and that God has given me the resources and abilities to stay here and to work more with these students and others. I feel so privileged that God has called me here.

I am not leaving this place but so many of my friends are and those friends are going to be missed an insane amount. It feels like such a big change even though I am staying. But it is an exciting and brilliant change at the same time. It is just another big adventure. 

This is just to say thank you for all those who made me adore uni, and to also celebrate the changes that God has brought me through. 

♥

this song has such beauty and such memories from the past 3 years ♥

drenched in the words of Proverbs 31...

completely unrelated but it made me giggle :)

I have just written a  10,000 word dissertation on Proverbs 31 but somehow in all the academics of it all I think I began to forget the beauty of the passage. 

I have always had an obsession interest in this passage- I think it is so intriguing, this account of a women's life. 

The passage was first brought to my attention when i was about 15/16 and I was at a camp in a girls seminar. The passage captured my heart. 

It is a beautiful account of one women's life and the way in which she leads it. The passage recounts all the duties and her hard work- talking about how she works completely for her family and their needs. She is a beautiful women with good standing in the community and she is adored by her husband and children. 

The passage begins with the phrase "she is worth more than rubies" and ends with "a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"

This woman is so wonderful, she is a woman whose heart is sold out for God and who is living her life in a way which serves Him and shows Him to others. This woman is the a woman who has embraced her identity as a daughter of the most high, a woman who knows that fearing the Lord is a great way to live. 

Woman in the Bible fascinate me. They lived in a time when there were no woman's rights, a time when a woman was either the property of her father or her husband. Woman who were alone were either pitied or scorned. Yet somehow God used these brilliant woman like Esther and Ruth and Naomi and all the others to show a new side to the King. 

These woman show a strength and a femininity to God. They show that God can use anyone and that God has a softer side to Him. 

I was reading a book called 'Captivating' a few months ago and in that the author writes that both men and woman were created in the image of God. 

The characteristics of a woman are characteristics of God and the characteristics of men are also characteristics of God. 

The differences between male and female are beautiful because they are just different characteristics of God. 

God uses us to show the world Him. 

It is beautiful 

xoxo