''Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring'' Marilyn Monroe

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

he is jealous for me... before I look to my day i look to the hand that first held mine...

I just finished my degree- every essay, exam, lecture and note is written. All I am doing is waiting for the results. It is the strangest feeling. 
Yesterday it truly hit me that this is the start of life. Real adult, in the world life. No student bubble, no 4 hours of lectures a week (yep it's true) and to be honest I became terrified. 
It is scary to know that this is university over, education over. 
But today, after the initial realisation terror I began to look back on the beauty that these past few years have been. 
I look back at the small, scared and very young girl who arrived in this city and I see a great transformation. God has taught me so much. 
I was a big mess when I arrived 3 years ago. I wasn't sure what I was doing or where to turn and I held on too tightly to my then boyfriend. I was so lost and so unaware of what God had planned. 
God has shown me amazing people- my church, my cluster, my cell, my friends- who have surrounded me and taught me life and what it is and how to navigate through it. 
Starting at the beginning with the church that embraced me on that first Sunday. A place full of people who made me feel like I was at home even when all I wanted was to run back south. A place which God has filled with His Spirit and people who shine so incredibly brightly. 
This church was the setting if you like, for God's transformation in me.
I arrived confused about who I was, very easily convinced and persuaded by others. But I was raised up, listened to, prayed with, understood and pushed to be my best. The people who I have encountered are people who let me be me and showed me that it was okay. 
I look at myself now and see even in the small things like what I wear and the colour of my finger nails- that God has shown me who I am. That He is moulding me into the woman He desires me to be. 

This last year at University has been the most incredible, I have met even more wonderful people and have been continuously changed by God's beautiful Spirit. Part of that year included leading an incredible group of students in my cluster (small group type thing)
I cannot believe how amazing these students are. Each and everyone of them has enriched my life and has brought such an incredible spirit and passion to my life. They are a group of people who I stand back and look at and I think they can change this world, they can be great and powerful people who bring goodness to everyone
They are a group of people who I have had the immense privilege of knowing and they are the most welcoming beautiful brothers and sisters that I know. 
These people have helped to transform my life and show me the beauty of passion and love of the Father. 

I am so glad that I am not leaving next year and that God has given me the resources and abilities to stay here and to work more with these students and others. I feel so privileged that God has called me here.

I am not leaving this place but so many of my friends are and those friends are going to be missed an insane amount. It feels like such a big change even though I am staying. But it is an exciting and brilliant change at the same time. It is just another big adventure. 

This is just to say thank you for all those who made me adore uni, and to also celebrate the changes that God has brought me through. 

this song has such beauty and such memories from the past 3 years ♥

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