''Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring'' Marilyn Monroe

Monday, 25 April 2011

o no one told you life was going to be this way. Your job's a joke, you're broke, you're love life's DOA....

friends, glorious friends... 

I am writing this in dedication to the girls who have brought me to where I am now. These people have come and gone but they are important and I will not forget them or what they meant to me. 

♥ Esther, the best friend a girl could have between the ages of 3 and 8, the lessons of friendship learnt early on set me up for life 
♥ Emily, one of the few constants who has seen me through the many stages of growing up- we have had more than a few ups and downs and have seen so many sides of each other- you are someone who I can always find joy and peace in. 
♥ Kirsty, who helped me learn more about myself in a year than I thought possible, who shared one of the best summer's with me and who I will always love for that. 
♥ Sarah, who brought me joy each day of sixth form without a doubt and who I know is destined for greatness, if she ever gets there on time. 
♥ Anna, who for a short time was one of the best friends I had, learning to forgive you is one of the hardest and best things I have ever done, sorry we aren't in contact any more. 

♥ Lydia, simple put you are like my sister and I hate not having you with me at all times, I miss our conversations and joint sense of humour and understanding of life, you are destined to be a musical genius in my humble opinion. 

♥ Alice, you are my sister in my house, the thinnest wall separating us. You have kept me sane through the toughness of the last year and you are forever engrained in my heart as my sibling! Do not know how I will cope not being able to run into your room at every stupid thought - Love you dearly. 

♥ Elle, loud, gorgeous and almost too much like me, cannot wait to live with you and to experience the first year of proper adulthood with you- too much wine (or beer knowing us!) and Carrie Bradshaw will most definitely happen. I know next year has excitement in it, just cannot wait to find out what it will be. 

♥ Char, you are my big sister, without a doubt and I wish I saw you more than I do. You teach me more about myself that you will ever realise 

♥ Rosie, you make sense of the craziness in my brain and you live your life with so much grace and poise that I watch in awe. I love you and plan to have you at my side or on the end of the phone at every major event in my life. 

To these ladies who help me be a better woman each day 

easter... chocolate, insomnia and Jesus (though not in that order)

i am tired. this is an understatement. last night i did not sleep one bit, nada, not one wink of sleep. I dislike this as although sometimes sleep feels like a waste of my time i need it to function. 

but i am listening to this and it reminded me of what Easter actually is about and it made me happy. Jesus is the only reason and the only one who saves me. it is amazing how much i keep forgetting this, forgetting how much i have been given and how amazing life is. 

also for easter my aunt gave me cupcake chocolates :D literally one of the best inventions ever 

and i saw these beautiful creatures while on a walk with my parents the other day

they truly are magnificent! 

and later today i am having a skype conversation with my future housemate who has just been to disney land! and then i get to have coffee with one of my oldest friends after that....
sometimes the worst of days become good days. 

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

dreams of tomorrow and all the tomorrows after that...

I am currently away with my parents in a place that is miles from a city, and I am here partly to spend time with my parents and partly to be working on my final year essays and my dissertation. I am failing. I cannot concentrate on my work and I am going crazy at the lack of contact with my normal world. I have no signal and this morning my dad brought me some wireless internet so I could have access to some work I needed on the internet. 

Part of my avoidance of work and all things university related has involved me reading many a blog distracting myself from what I should and inevitably will be doing. 
I have been reading Rachel's blog encounterswithjoy; she is an amazing girl and her blog always makes me stop and think, and smile and laugh. 

I realised as I read through her past posts, that actually me sitting here wasting away my days is pointless. There are many a thing in my life that I should be thankful for. I have incredible parents and an ever patient big brother, who throughout their lives have supported me without fail. I have friends who I could call on in a second and they will listen and council and be there to laugh and joke through the hard things. I have been given the opportunity to study in ways that many in this world cannot (and therefore should embrace it and not ignore it) and I have been given so many opportunities to travel and experience the world. 
Most of all I have been given the joy of knowing God and His ever bounding love. I have been comforted and taught and challenged by my Father in heaven and I am able to rest in the knowledge that He is my king. 
I can rest in the fact that He loves me all the time, no matter what... 

In her blog Rachel wrote this:
"because the truth is that he likes me - and you - A LOT, he laughs at the things you laugh at, he understands when you're afraid angry or just plain bored. When you cry he cries - he loves the people you love even when they don't love him, he doesn't disapprove of you - he thinks you are utterly top notch!! When you do something that you're passionate about and are totally in your element he sees that too and rejoices in it - he created you to live a truly full life."

this is what i am thankful for, i am thankful that He understands that I am bored of my work and that it frustrates me, i am thankful that He knows the things that are occupying my brain and driving me crazy and He knows that i miss being in a city and seeing the business that fuels everyone. 

In a few months I will be graduating from University and starting out life outside of education- I am excited and slightly scared of the things that are to come, but I know that He has everything in His hands. 
I am excited to do things that I am passionate about and things that scare and push me. 
I am excited for what is going to happen and the places that I will be going, the new people that I am going to meet, the adventures I will be going on. 

I have dreams of tomorrow and the things that I can do, I have big ideas that form in my daydreams. But for now I am trying to focus on the work I have to do now.
 The place that I am in now and what that is and what God is showing me. 

so back to the slog of work, or maybe it won't be such a slog and maybe I might find joy in the work I have to do.

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

I will wait for you...

Listen and hear and know that He is king.

This is so amazing, this is so true and brilliant and wonderful. 

Friday, 8 April 2011

little by little we heal...

Today was such a beautiful day- the first proper day that felt like summer. I walked into uni today and everyone was in summer clothes and sunbathing on the grass- it was beautiful. 
I spent the day sitting on grass and walking around shops browsing and enjoying the sun. Tonight was then spent packing for easter. I am going back to my parents house for 3 weeks easter break, although it shall be full of essay and dissertation writing. It will be a break from the madness and busyness that is the life of a third year. 

Today as I walked around, actually over the last week, I have been thinking about the last 3 years and the journey that I have been on since I moved to uni. I was having a conversation recently with some of my best girl friends about who we were at school and I began to realise just how different I was back then. 
The past 3 years have been the best and worst of my life- I have been through so many things that have shaped who I am. The biggest of them all was a relationship which at the time was everything to me. It was my world, and I thought that it would be for the rest of my life. When it ended I thought that my world had collapsed around me and that I would never truly recover. 
I don't think that I knew how strong I was or how much I was being held back by the relationship or the things that had happened during that time. 
I know that the person I am wouldn't exist without that relationship and I know that the relationship taught me a lot and gave me a lot of life lessons. 

I am about to start a brand new chapter of my life, meeting new people and discovering what it means to be out of education and into the big wide world. It is exciting and full of possibilities.
I am itching to get out there and see what the world has to offer, what God has in plan for my little life. 

Life is exciting, especially when you look back and see where you have come from and what has changed. 
I won't lie and say that I am completely recovered from the hard times, and I won't say that it doesn't still hurt sometimes but I do know that for the most I can see the good in it all and that, actually, there is hope and joy in everything. 
God's goodness shines through and keeps shining through whether we notice it at the time or not. 

"if i lay here, if i just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world"

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

text message from God....

found this, liked it, shared it

taken from: weheartit

Friday, 1 April 2011

wings like eagles....

this is one of my favourite picture of all time.
is it a depiction of the story of the prodigal son, of the son who was welcomed with open arms after running as far away as he could. 
it is the image of the father welcoming him back- with no strings attached just with pure love. 
It shows the love of God, it shows how accepted we are no matter what. 
it makes me smile