I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny, old attics; even if they dress in rags; even if they aren't pretty, or smart, or young. They're still princesses. All of us. Didn't you father ever tell you that? Didn't he?
So I am now an official graduate- I am out of education and into the big wide world of adulthood. And this is the last long summer that I have before I begin the rest of my life. In this period before it all starts I have nothing to do and therefore I have come to realise a few things about myself... This things are not massive revelations or anything majorly important but I am sitting here home alone and wanted to write away.
So here it is...
1. I only like to drink tea if it is out of a pretty mug- don't know why but my mind says that it is wrong if the mug is not pretty.
2. I love the e-harmony adverts with the random singing meetings- music shop and train station- if you haven't seen them then I suggest that you try to discover them because they are wonderful.
3.I have tooooo much stuff. The fact that all my junk would not fit in my mums massive car when I moved out of my uni house was the first indicator - the fact I had to clear out my room in my parents house before I could unpack was the second.. oops
4.I get bored very quickly and do better when I have something to do- anything to do really, including housework :/
5. I love to drive, even if it isn't to anywhere specific- it is just beautiful.
6. i love wearing dresses, they make me feel all grown up, like a proper adult :) it makes me happy.
So anyway back to my cup of tea in its beautiful mug. Also the sun is shining outside and it is lovely
In this summer time where I am in a lull between to busy years I find myself outside of my comfort zone.
Comfort Zone; Noun: A place or situation where one feels safe or at ease and without stress
I am outside of my comfort zone mainly because I am having to spend most of my time alone and being an extravert this makes me uneasy. I like to be surrounded by people and to be busy rushing from place to place. However at the moment this is not possible and so I am finding myself alone with my thoughts and wonderings.
One of these wonderings today was actually on comfort zone's - hence the above definition. I was thinking about how there is often a lot of talk amongst Christians about getting out of your comfort zone. I always thought that it meant being pushed to do something big and dramatic; move to a new place or give up a huge part of your life.
I realised today that it is not necessarily a dramatic change but sometimes simply a look at the way you live your life.
For me at the moment I have realised that I do not like spending time alone - my Dad very wisely reminded me that I am never alone and that Jesus is always with me even if I can't see Him. This made me think- I have days and days of just me and Jesus but somehow this makes me uncomfortable.
It is outside my comfort zone to just spend a day with me and Jesus with no visible human contact.
I guess what I am saying is that moving out of a comfort zone is not necessarily about dramatic change but rather about us leading on God and letting Him show us how to be comfortable in situations we aren't usually comfortable in. It is about pushing ourselves to be more in touch with Him way and His will.
At the moment I am learning that being alone does not have to equal depression or terror but that it can be joyful and a time to discover God and learn more about His world. It is an opportunity for me to listen to Him and go where He tells me- even just to the shops and back. It is a new way of living which I never really understood before.
I just finished my degree- every essay, exam, lecture and note is written. All I am doing is waiting for the results. It is the strangest feeling.
Yesterday it truly hit me that this is the start of life. Real adult, in the world life. No student bubble, no 4 hours of lectures a week (yep it's true) and to be honest I became terrified.
It is scary to know that this is university over, education over.
But today, after the initial realisation terror I began to look back on the beauty that these past few years have been.
I look back at the small, scared and very young girl who arrived in this city and I see a great transformation. God has taught me so much.
I was a big mess when I arrived 3 years ago. I wasn't sure what I was doing or where to turn and I held on too tightly to my then boyfriend. I was so lost and so unaware of what God had planned.
God has shown me amazing people- my church, my cluster, my cell, my friends- who have surrounded me and taught me life and what it is and how to navigate through it.
Starting at the beginning with the church that embraced me on that first Sunday. A place full of people who made me feel like I was at home even when all I wanted was to run back south. A place which God has filled with His Spirit and people who shine so incredibly brightly.
This church was the setting if you like, for God's transformation in me.
I arrived confused about who I was, very easily convinced and persuaded by others. But I was raised up, listened to, prayed with, understood and pushed to be my best. The people who I have encountered are people who let me be me and showed me that it was okay.
I look at myself now and see even in the small things like what I wear and the colour of my finger nails- that God has shown me who I am. That He is moulding me into the woman He desires me to be.
This last year at University has been the most incredible, I have met even more wonderful people and have been continuously changed by God's beautiful Spirit. Part of that year included leading an incredible group of students in my cluster (small group type thing)
I cannot believe how amazing these students are. Each and everyone of them has enriched my life and has brought such an incredible spirit and passion to my life. They are a group of people who I stand back and look at and I think they can change this world, they can be great and powerful people who bring goodness to everyone.
They are a group of people who I have had the immense privilege of knowing and they are the most welcoming beautiful brothers and sisters that I know.
These people have helped to transform my life and show me the beauty of passion and love of the Father.
I am so glad that I am not leaving next year and that God has given me the resources and abilities to stay here and to work more with these students and others. I feel so privileged that God has called me here.
I am not leaving this place but so many of my friends are and those friends are going to be missed an insane amount. It feels like such a big change even though I am staying. But it is an exciting and brilliant change at the same time. It is just another big adventure.
This is just to say thank you for all those who made me adore uni, and to also celebrate the changes that God has brought me through.
♥
this song has such beauty and such memories from the past 3 years ♥
I have just written a 10,000 word dissertation on Proverbs 31 but somehow in all the academics of it all I think I began to forget the beauty of the passage.
I have always had an obsession interest in this passage- I think it is so intriguing, this account of a women's life.
The passage was first brought to my attention when i was about 15/16 and I was at a camp in a girls seminar. The passage captured my heart.
It is a beautiful account of one women's life and the way in which she leads it. The passage recounts all the duties and her hard work- talking about how she works completely for her family and their needs. She is a beautiful women with good standing in the community and she is adored by her husband and children.
The passage begins with the phrase "she is worth more than rubies" and ends with "a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"
This woman is so wonderful, she is a woman whose heart is sold out for God and who is living her life in a way which serves Him and shows Him to others. This woman is the a woman who has embraced her identity as a daughter of the most high, a woman who knows that fearing the Lord is a great way to live.
Woman in the Bible fascinate me. They lived in a time when there were no woman's rights, a time when a woman was either the property of her father or her husband. Woman who were alone were either pitied or scorned. Yet somehow God used these brilliant woman like Esther and Ruth and Naomi and all the others to show a new side to the King.
These woman show a strength and a femininity to God. They show that God can use anyone and that God has a softer side to Him.
I was reading a book called 'Captivating' a few months ago and in that the author writes that both men and woman were created in the image of God.
The characteristics of a woman are characteristics of God and the characteristics of men are also characteristics of God.
The differences between male and female are beautiful because they are just different characteristics of God.
Because I have been working on an essay I have discovered some new and old music favourites- I tend to be distracted easily when I have to write an essay...anyway I thought I would share these little gems ♥
only 3 days left until I have finished uni forever!
Grace is a funny thing. There is nothing like it and it really does not make any sense at all.
It is something which seems so against our nature, it is something that sometimes goes against everything that we feel would be right.
It is something which I have struggled with for ages, something which I still don't fully understand but recently I have learnt a bit about what it means to be gracious and to accept things without fighting against them. I have learnt that sometimes you just have to accept that the world is not always fair and that there are things which will happen which do not make sense.
When I see these things I tend to get really angry but then I am always reminded that God is the master of Grace. He is the one who gave us His son so that we could live and I remember that:
"There is no love deeper, there is no love greater, there is no love vaster than your love!"
God's love is the picture of pure Grace- He gave us everything despite our sinful natures and despite the way that we treat Him sometimes.
So I remember that and things always seem a little bit better and I carry on, trying to not forget the greatness that God is and the wonderful Grace He shows.
